they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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