i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
