jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
