Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A+ Viking dick
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize