Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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