I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
