there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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