Fuck appropriateness.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
