Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
