I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the liver wants what the liver wants
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize