Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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