it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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