were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
