so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
