"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
