She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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