I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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