Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize