You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
