we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
