why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
