All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
