I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
