Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
