just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
