dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
