Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
