This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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