just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
