so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
