it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
