It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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