well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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