so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
