were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
