I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
