Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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