That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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