My brain says no but my pants say off.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize