Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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