I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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