My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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