That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
