Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
