Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
