So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
