their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
