Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
