Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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