If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
vagina is talking i cant
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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