Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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