I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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