Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
