Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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