It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
