That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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