Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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