So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
