Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
