Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
