Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
