i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
